


Her

by fawnbinary



Series: Possession [11]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:03:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8929264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fawnbinary/pseuds/fawnbinary
Summary: His heart aches, and he wonders what he’s done wrong for Oikawa to act like this. Wonders if maybe he’s getting bored of him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> back at it again! had a few too many days off this week so ill hopefully be posting more of this soon! enjoy! (and also suffer ahaha)

Sugawara is worried. More than worried, his anxiety has been gradually getting worse with every passing day. Oikawa’s been. Off. More tense than usual, quiet far too often. He buries himself in his schoolwork and doesn’t quite ignore Sugawara, but doesn’t exactly dote on him like usual either.

At first, Sugawara thinks that he must be stressed about school, or the big project he’s working on for his astronomy class, but then that doesn't make sense. Oikawa loves that class, could talk about that class forever. When he tries to bring it up, though, Oikawa gets quiet and distant, two things that he is anything but.

So for all of that, Sugawara is incredibly anxious. And then it gets worse.

Oikawa starts staying out later some nights, coming home finally when Sugawara is too exhausted to stay up for much longer, leaving him with just a goodnight kiss and a silent embrace. His heart aches, and he wonders what he’s done wrong for Oikawa to act like this. Wonders if maybe he’s getting bored of him.

After classes one day, Sugawara makes the decision to try and surprise him. Oikawa only has one more class before he’s supposed to come home, and he hadn't mentioned staying out later, so Sugawara puts a little more effort into his outfit than usual, decides to see if he’s up for a surprise date. Something fun, spontaneous. Anything to spice things up, get them out of the rut they could possibly be in.

He finishes up getting showered and dressed and grabs his things, pulling on his hat last before leaving the dorm. It’s the beginning of April, but it can still get pretty chilly at night, so he takes care to always wear one.

He’d texted Oikawa just after his shower, but now when he glances at his messages he frowns when he sees that it’s still unopened. Ah, well. He’s still got a little bit of his class left, he’ll get it soon.

Sugawara hurries across campus, not a fan of walking when it’s dark. When he gets to the building Oikawa’s class is in, it’s about when he should be leaving, so he peers through the crowd of students, watching for him. He finally spots him, and smiles, making his way through to him. Oikawa doesn’t see him, busy talking to someone, but Sugawara doesn’t mind, likes the idea of surprising him. He opens his mouth to shout to him, heart swelling with joy at the excitement of the date, but then the hall clears and

Oh.

Oh.

 _No_.

Sugawara freezes mid-step. He must make some noise, because Oikawa’s eyes snap up to him and. They’re wide with shock, and he glances to her, then back at Sugawara, horrified.

That look and everything behind it is all he needs to bolt, turning sharply and taking off, out of the building, no destination in mind. He just needs to get out, needs to stop thinking, why can’t he stop thinking?

Her face is burned into his vision, memories flashing, screaming in his head. It’s too much. He just wants it to stop, doesn’t want to think about her, her name is venom in his blood.

_Yui._


	2. Chapter 2

He doesn’t know where to go. Just walks, ignores the echo in his mind of Oikawa calling after him, yelling his name, trying to get him to stop. But he’d run away, head spinning at the thoughts it all brought.

Sugawara had never thought that Oikawa could… could cheat on him. But it was the only explanation, why he’d been so distant lately, so uninterested in doing anything, out late all the time. And with Yui of all people. He grits his teeth, tries not to think about it. Fails.

His feet take him across campus, wandering mindlessly until he realizes how cold he is, how long he must have been walking. He stops, staring at the ground.

It's all he can think about. How he’d found Daichi with her. The thought of Oikawa in that same position. It was almost worse. The thought of him on top of her, doing things with her that he and Sugawara had done, giving her all of the love and affection that he gave Sugawara. Looking back at him with a bored face.

Sugawara doesn’t know what he could have done. Oikawa had been so in love with him, so clingy. It was so sudden, nothing seeming to have triggered it. At least with Daichi he’d had a reason. Not a good one, but. A reason.

A loud banging tears him from his thoughts and he jumps, eyes darting to the source of the noise. He’s relieved to see that it’s just someone taking trash down, but he knows he should get somewhere before something more dangerous comes along. If only he knew where to go.

“Sugawara-san.”

His head snaps up at the voice. He turns around quickly, eyes wide, but he’s relieved to see it’s one of his classmates. He recognizes her instantly, having spoken to her a few times recently.

“Ah, K-Kiyoko-san.”

She approaches him slowly, sensing his tension.  
“Are you alright? It’s very late.”

He shrugs, “I’m- No.”

What is he doing? He barely knows her, but he can’t hold it back, eyes welling up with tears. She looks a little startled, but doesn’t try to leave, instead crossing the distance between them. Kiyoko pulls him in gently for a hug, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze before stepping back again. Despite not seeing the hug coming, it calms him down.

“Do you have somewhere to go? You looked a little… lost.” It’s hard to tell, but she seems concerned. “Did something happen with your boyfriend?”

He looks down at his feet, feeling a little awkward. It’s not a surprise that she’s so perceptive, with how quiet she is. And Sugawara talked about Oikawa often enough that anyone could guess, really.

“We uh, had a fight.” It’s not exactly the truth, but it’s easier than explaining, especially to someone he’s not very close to.

She frowns, “Do you need somewhere to go?”

He considers it a moment. He doesn’t really have anywhere to go. The only people he’s close enough with to go to are Iwaizumi, who is likely back at Oikawa’s dorm, and Terushima, who is most definitely not an option right now. He hasn’t seen him since what happened, but knows that he'll have to eventually. But that’s another matter altogether.

Finally, he looks up at her and nods. “I do. Just- just for a night, if that’s okay.”

Kiyoko smiles, “Just for the night. And then you should fix things with your boyfriend.”

He doesn't really know if they can. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this is so forced, i just wanted to get through this part to get to the next, but yeah!! enjoy!!
> 
> also, ive been wanting some ideas lately, so leave me some kink/fic requests! and ill hand out some gift fics as i get to them if i like your ideas!

When he wakes up in the middle of the night crying, Kiyoko is there to comfort him again, rubbing his back until he quiets down. Her roommate, a girl in the same year, Misaki, gets him some water and tissues. He feels loads better afterwards, and lets Kiyoko usher him back to bed. She sits up with him until he falls asleep, brushing her fingers through his hair soothingly. It reminds him of being back home with his mother when he was a child, and it’s not long before he falls back asleep.

In the morning, he checks his phone for the first time all night and tries not to let his anxiety swell too much. It’s all Oikawa, missed texts and missed calls and several voicemails.

He reads through them, heart aching at the words. It’s all him just. Begging Sugawara to come back, asking if he’s okay. It’s. Confusing. Of course he’s not okay, not after seeing Oikawa with- with Yui.

Kiyoko rolls over on her bed and watches him a moment.

“Was it really a fight?”

He looks up from his phone, sighing. “I… No. I saw him with a girl.”

“With a girl?”

“N-no, I mean. He um, I didn't see anything happen, really, but I could tell, I-”

“Sugawara-san.” She looks confused, “Do you know that he was really cheating?”

He shrugs, avoiding her eyes. “No, but, the way he’s been acting, and who it was…”

Kiyoko looks skeptical.

“Would he really cheat on you?”

He fiddles with his phone, feeling awkward. Would he? It seemed so clear, it was the only possibility. He had been acting so strange, and Yui just. It was obvious.

“Daichi did. So I guess I’m just. Easily forgotten?” He smiles bitterly, “Daichi got tired of me, so maybe Oikawa did too.”

“Sugawara-san, I don’t intend to be rude, but that’s ridiculous. You should go back to your boyfriend and talk to him.” She says, “If anything happens, you are welcome here, but only if you talk to him.”

He’s nervous, but he nods. Kiyoko is smart, she’s the best in class, she helped him out last night. Even if he thinks she's wrong, he’ll listen to her.


	4. Chapter 4

The anxiety in his chest sits there and grows with every step he takes back towards Oikawa’s dorm. He stands outside the door for at least ten minutes, trying to get his breathing under control. The thought of what could be behind that door terrifies him. The image of what had happened before burns itself into his mind, and he feels sick to his stomach, afraid of opening this door to the same thing.

He looks down at the key and takes a deep breath. Unlocks the door. Opens it.

He’s alone. Thank god. That’s the first thing Sugawara thinks, when Oikawa's head snaps up to look at him. He looks. Awful.

There are bags under his eyes, his always perfect hair is a wreck, he’s still wearing the same clothes. He definitely hasn’t slept, looks like he’s been crying. It’s hard to look at, but Sugawara can’t allow himself to be weak. So he looks away.

“S-Suga, where have you been, what- Are you okay?”

His voice is shaky as he stands up, hurriedly crossing the floor towards Sugawara. He flinches back against the door, holding his hands up and shaking his head.

“Oikawa, stop, I,” He grits out, “I know, okay?”

Oikawa freezes in front of him, eyes wide.

“Know? Know what? Is this- Is this about Yui?”

The sound of her name is like a punch to the gut and he tries to blink back the tears before they can fall.

“I know, that you… you’re cheating on me.”

When Oikawa doesn't say anything, he finally looks up and feels half his height. Oikawa is. He looks angrier than he’s ever been, looks absolutely disgusted.

He takes a step back, “Are you serious?”

Sugawara wishes he wasn’t already by the door, because he wants nothing more than to bolt.

“Y-yes, I saw you, and you’ve been-”

“Holy shit, you are serious, this is so ridiculous. How could you be so fucking stupid?” He snarls, “After all we’ve been through?”

Sugawara snaps, glaring at him. “You haven’t touched me in weeks! You come home late, you barely talk, you hardly even kiss me. Y-you just, you’ve been acting like Daichi, and-”

The words cut off when Oikawa grabs him by the collar of his shirt, slamming him roughly against the door.

“Don’t you dare compare me to him!” His expression cracks, and he looks destroyed. “I’m not- I’m not like that, I could never do that. I love you, Koushi, I’d never…”

His head drops down onto Sugawara's shoulder, and oh no, he’s shaking, trembling as Sugawara’s hands hover over his back, unsure. He’s scared. That Oikawa is lying to him, that he’s just going to turn around and hurt him again, but the way he’s crying is just. So honest, so unguarded.

His hands drop down, holding him tight.

“Why were you ignoring me?

Oikawa looks up at him again and his eyes are red and wet and Sugawara’s heart breaks at the sight. His hands slide up to cup his cheeks, touches soft.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, I promise. I just- We got new lab partners and mine is. Her.” He sighs, “I didn't want you to know because I know how you feel about her. And I just, I didn’t want to see you upset, or sad.”

Sugawara frowns, “That- that doesn’t explain why you won’t… touch me. Why you're barely talking to me.”

Oikawa presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes. He brings a hand up to hold Sugawara’s cheek, taking a deep breath.

“I love you, I do. But I’m so tired lately, and I-I like having sex with you, god I love it, but. I’m… I want more, the more we do, the more I want, but I don’t want to hurt you again. So I’ve been holding back.”

Sugawara feels like his heart has been ripped from his chest. He grits his teeth, horrified. It’s his fault, his fault, for always overreacting, now Oikawa is afraid to even sleep with him, it’s his fault-

“Koushi, it’s not your fault, don’t do that.” He tilts his head up a bit, kissing Sugawara’s forehead. “It’s okay, I’ll be better, I promise.”

He nods, breathing steady. “Okay. I um. We can, try new things, y’know. Especially since we started using the safeword. I’ll be okay, I promise.”

Oikawa kisses his lips this time, smiling softly.

“Whatever you want, star. Anything for you.” He breathes, “I’m so sorry.”

Sugawara forgives him, like he always does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for how rushed and short all of these chapters were, im clearly much better at nsfw ahaha, but! i hope you all enjoyed, i think the next fic will be oikawas deeeep dark past, and then id like to do more drabbles! so comment with some kink requests and ill be doing my best to fill them!

**Author's Note:**

> leave me some comments and predictions!! what do you want to happen, what do you think is gonna happen?? let me know!


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